Do you believe in soulmates? Is there someone out there who is your perfect match? Have you found that person? Was it love at first sight?
I was married for nearly 20 years. My ex and I met at university residence in Canada. Here was this sexy woman with a cool Australian accent. She was funny, kind, and smart. When we hooked up though, it was meant to be something casual. Then feelings developed before she was finished her exchange program and returned to Australia.
That’s when the crazy decision happened. We talked constantly and decided she would come back to Canada to be with me. And it would be easiest if we got married so she could apply for permanent residency!! It all happened so fast. Within six months of knowing each other, we were married. I had just turned 22… Looking back, I’m pretty sure my friends and family thought I had lost my mind. But did I believe she was my soulmate??
Three years in Canada of her being miserable without her family and we moved to Australia. She really wanted kids and I kept saying I wasn’t ready. I worried that if we didn’t work out that I’d be stuck in a country halfway across the world because I would never leave my kids. Maybe that was a sign…
Before the kids came along, she had changed. Maybe I had too. But we had a big conversation about me leaving. But she was worried about finding someone else in time to have kids. I decided to stay with her and work on our relationship as marriage isn’t always easy. Feel like maybe I stayed out of guilt. Not because she was my soulmate…
Fast forward to present day after being separated over three years. I have trouble remembering the good times we had together. Not even sure I was ever ”in love” with her. Maybe I thought I was at the time. It certainly wasn’t love at first sight. Makes me wonder whether I wasted 20 years of my life with the wrong person when I could have been searching for my soulmate.
Three years and not one date. Living in a small town with very few options. All these dating apps seem ridiculous. Yet my hope is still alive for the most part. I do have times where it feels hopeless. Maybe I’m one of those hopeless romantics, but I still believe there’s that one person out there meant for me. I believe in soulmates.