Three weeks ago, I was feeling really hopeful about this year. But things are not going to plan. Why does life have to be so difficult?
I know that I really need to quit smoking. There are so many reasons like finances, health, and love. But it’s not happening because I’m not ready to give up. I really wish it was easier.
My job has been stressful since returning after two weeks off. That is partly due to my boss treating me horribly again like she was last year. The other part is I keep getting thrown curveballs to make it harder to get everything done.
This past week hasn’t been ideal, definitely not going to plan. I had some difficult parenting moments. My son has always been this beautiful, kind person and I’ve noticed a change. He has really upset some people recently, including me, so I decided to have a tough conversation with him. I think it went okay, but it really upset him. Those of you that are parents understand how much that sucks.
On top of that, my daughter’s anxiety has gotten worse with school coming up again. She skipped a dinner night at my place, then ended up missing two overnight stays here. It gets me so worried that one day she will just stop coming here.
Plus I’m realizing how busy I’m going to be once school starts with the kids’ extracurricular activities, dinners, my show rehearsals, and other things. All of this is making my IBS symptoms worse again. And that just makes me more stressed out.
Feel like I’ve barely spoken to my friends here recently. And my friends in Canada really haven’t been in touch, so that makes it even more difficult. Especially when I really need to talk to someone.
The dating apps still suck and I haven’t had any matches. Don’t know why I’m surprised by that. I’m not sure if I can keep going like this though, it’s a lonely existence. Maybe I’ll meet someone soon…
So things really are not going to plan this year so far. My life seems to be a constant battle. As per usual, I will keep pushing on and trying to make things better one step at a time.