I really believed good things were coming for me after working so hard on myself. But here I am, knocked down once again. Is it time for a reset?
Positive thinking and self confidence are wonderful things until it all comes crashing down. After months of practicing for the next local musical and being ready for auditions, I not only failed to get a callback for the lead role, but didn’t get into the show at all. Now I’m questioning everything…
Should I keep singing? I definitely enjoy it but it isn’t cheap for lessons and I’m struggling financially at the moment. The main reason I started them was to get into these musicals. My daughter loves singing with me, so she may be disappointed if I stop. I’m just not sure I’m improving anymore.
Maybe it’s time to give up on my dream of being an actor. I’m certainly not young anymore and live in a small regional town. Obviously I’m not as talented as I thought. This is so frustrating because I was so confident going into these auditions. Honestly, I don’t know what to do. But I don’t think I can go through this pain again. Must be time for a reset.
But how do I reset? I’ve been on this mission to better myself and enjoy life. I was going to quit smoking but that seems so much more difficult now. My IBS is terrible again after I thought maybe I’d figured out how to feel better. Finances are tough at the moment and Christmas is coming up. Motivation to go to the gym is very low after the last couple weeks.
The worst thing about not getting into the cast for this show is how disappointed my kids will be. They saw my confidence and now they will see how I feel after not getting in. Will it make my daughter’s anxiety worse again? Every time I think about it, my vision gets blurry…
It has been such a stressful week. So after getting the bad news this morning, I distracted myself with work. At least my job is still going well. I should have gone to the gym after work, but I decided today needed to be a rest day. Time for a reset. I can focus on my kids and enjoy my favorite time of year – Christmas. Time to refocus my health. Quit smoking, keep going to the gym, and work on my gut issues. And maybe rethink how to still do what I love and pursue my dreams. I can solidify some friendships and maybe even meet someone special along the way. I’ve got this, need to keep going.