Another musical show run is finished and I had a wonderful time helping out backstage. As soon as it finished, I realized I was back to being alone.
We just did nine shows over two weeks. It was exhausting, but so worth it. Being backstage wasn’t the same as being in the cast though. In saying that, it was still a lot of fun. I got to catch up with people that were in the last show with me and maybe made some new friends too.
After the last show, I’m more cautious with my expectations. I really thought I’d found my family in this country so far from home. Then I was let down when making efforts to catch up with people and I found myself back to being alone.
When this one finished, I definitely gave out a lot more hugs. I haven’t heard from anyone yet but it’s only been a few days. My loneliness is certainly settling in already though. Will this time be different?
The next show will be in October and I’m not sure if they will want me in it due to being away for a few weeks during rehearsals. Plus it isn’t the type of show my kids can come see either, so putting all that time in may not be worth it for me. I could help backstage again but I don’t want to get stuck doing that every time.
I thought it would be nice to relax this week, but I’m already bored with myself. Looking forward to my weekend with the kids, but then what? I’m back to being alone and not sure if that will get better anytime soon. All I can do is keep putting myself out there and hope for the best…