I’ve been watching Friends again recently and as much as it makes me laugh, it also reminds me of all the things I’m missing out on in my life.
I left my home country of Canada over twenty years ago to move here to Australia. Little did I know when I was in my twenties, that it would be such a monumental decision. Here I am, divorced with two kids, and alone in this country.
During my time here, I have missed out on my brother and other friends having children. Not only that, my kids never got to play with them as they were growing up. When I was younger and pictured my life, that was what I expected. But I guess it wasn’t meant to be…
I missed my brother’s wedding, as well as countless others of close friends. Never got to be anyone’s best man and likely never will be. I haven’t even been to a wedding in over 15 years. Feel like I’m missing out on all these important life events that most others gets to experience.
Because my savings and my holidays from work go towards trips to Canada to see my friends and family, I don’t get to travel anywhere else. There are so many wonderful places that I’m not sure I will ever get to visit. It doesn’t seem fair.
There are so many other things I’m missing out on. I haven’t been to a high school reunion, I never got to pursue the career I wanted, I don’t get to eat a lot of my favorite foods I grew up with. I can’t make a trip to see my favorite hockey team or spend every Christmas with my parents and my brothers.
And then there’s one more. I’m missing out on love and don’t know that I’ll ever find it.
Just need to keep reminding myself that I’m lucky. I didn’t miss out on being a father and having two beautiful children. They are my world and I will try to stay positive through this life I wasn’t meant to be in to make them happy.