I know a lot of people say this, but my kids are my world. They are more important than anything else. They are smart, funny, and kind. I feel like the world is a better place with them in it.
I’m not sure sometimes if I’m a good father. I try my best. I’m not exactly a “kid person” normally with other kids. My father and I aren’t really close and to be honest, I don’t have a lot of great memories of him. When he’s in a good mood, he’s not too bad. For the most part, he’s just plain grouchy (to be polite!). We never have any personal conversations. So when it comes to my children, I really hope we can have a wonderful relationship for years to come. This is why I certainly cannot move back to Canada. So stuck in a small town far away from my family overseas for the foreseeable future.
The toughest thing I ever had to do was have the “separation” conversation with my ex. But when we told the kids, that was the most heartbreaking thing. They cried a lot…. I know the right decision was made though. I may have less time with them these days but it’s a lot more quality time. When it comes to their time with me, I’m never late to pick them up and I never cancel. I work everything else around the schedule with them.
We finally had some time away together recently. It took a while for them both to be comfortable going away without their mother. Then there were either lockdowns and restrictions or I was broke. So hopefully they have some great memories from that time. We plan on going away for a bit longer next time, then maybe in a couple years we can all go to Canada together. They haven’t been there for nearly 6 years.
Luckily my ex and I split fairly amicably and we both put the kids first. She is the best possible mother for my children. We have even still done a few things together as a family so the kids know we are both there for them. Who knows, maybe my ex and I can be friends again one day.
I can’t begin to explain how hard it is being so far away from my family in Canada. But I’ve got those two wonderful little people in my life so I need to push on. I feel like I need to keep improving myself for their sake (as well as mine). If anyone out there sees this, I would really love to hear your thoughts or experiences.