2022 was a big year of change for me. Time for reflection on how it all went down, now that it’s over. Did all those changes make a difference in my life?
The year started with my first trip back home to Canada in three years and it couldn’t have gone any better. Got to hang out with my family and even caught up with great friends. Not only that, but I’ve kept in touch with all of them regularly throughout the year. No more worrying if they are too busy to talk to me. It certainly helps with the loneliness.
This blog was created and has been an amazing outlet for me to get my feelings into words. Not many people have read it, but that’s not really the point. It’s more of a therapeutic exercise. Highly recommend this for anyone who doesn’t have any close friends around them to talk to. Next for this is to improve the website and try to get more people reading it.
I started going to the gym twice a week for the first time in about 25 years. Sometimes it was hard to stay motivated to continue, but I pushed through and feel so much better for it. My endurance has improved and my muscles actually show a bit now!
Also, I started doing yoga for 10-15 minutes most days through an app on the phone. Actually really surprised how much I enjoy it and how it’s helped my fitness, especially my flexibility and balance. Might be a good idea to look into a yoga class this year.
This reflection needs to include the bad, along with the good. My daughter’s anxiety kicked in full force early in the year. She wasn’t even staying overnight at my place for a while, then it was only once a fortnight and it was in my bed with me so she felt safe. For a while, I thought it was something I’d done. But I realized it’s something she needs to get through. Wasn’t easy though and I felt really guilty for not looking forward to my weekends with kids sometimes because of it. Happy to report, after rearranging the house and buying her a new bed, she is now back to sleeping over both nights on my weekends. Heading in the right direction going forward!
My job of over nine years changed dramatically and it became something I didn’t want to do anymore. It was a long year of ups and downs at work, but it got worse the last few months. I was off work for my mental health by the end of it. Felt like a failure a lot of times in terms of what I achieved in my career. As my confidence grew though, it made me realize I was better than this job. After months of misery, I finally got a new job. Started there four weeks ago and it’s going really well. It’s also a global company with offices in Canada so one day if I decide to move back there when kids are older, I could continue my career there.
My biggest goal of the year revolved around my loneliness and how to be more social. That started with singing lessons so I could maybe be involved with the local musicals as I’ve always loved acting. Think I surprised myself how much fun it was and that I wasn’t bad at it. Got to do spotlighting for one of the shows early in the year. Then auditioned for the next one and made it into the cast. It was exactly what I needed. Not only did I make some friends, but my confidence is probably higher than it ever has been. Doing that show was one of the best experiences of my life and my kids were really proud of me. Unfortunately I didn’t get into the next show, which was extra disappointing. They have asked me to help out backstage again though. Then to end the year, I got to sing on stage for my teacher’s concert. Felt so good to do it though and even had a few amazing singers say how great I did.
Writing down this reflection of the year past has me feeling proud, confident, and hopeful. Even after having another lonely New Years Eve at home, I think more good things will come to me this year. Going to make a list of new things to try. The biggest goal I have for myself is to not be lonely anymore. Would really like to have someone in my life for next Christmas and New Years. I know it can’t be forced, but I’m going to put myself into more situations where I can meet people. Bring on 2023…