In my last post, I talked about how sick I am of getting knocked down. But I guess that’s why getting back up again is so important…
About nine days ago, I was probably at my lowest point all year. This big year of change was looking like it was going to end on a low note. I didn’t get cast in the new show and wasn’t sure I actually made any friends from the last one. My boss at work was bullying me and I couldn’t bear going in each day.
Let’s start with my work life. My doctor gave me the rest of the week off for my mental health. I then saw my psychologist and she recommended a take another week off. My guilt nearly prevented me from doing that but she reminded me that I need to put myself first for my kids sake. So I’ve actually been off work since last week.
I then had an interview last week for a position that sounded really exciting. It seemed to go really well but after my confidence taking such a hit lately, I wasn’t sure. Not only did they offer me a role the next day, but it was a better position than I applied for! Finally found another job and it actually seems like I could be really happy in it. It felt really great to resign from my current job and luckily they let me finish up quickly. My last day there is next week! Getting back up again may be difficult, but sometimes it’s also really rewarding.
As for my personal life, things have gotten slightly better. I had a singing lesson and my teacher is the director of the show I didn’t get cast in. We had a discussion before the lesson about the casting and she made it very clear my audition was good. She also really wanted me to be involved backstage, which is probably important to do for the social aspect. It made me feel slightly better. I am still disappointed, but I’m trying to focus on other things in my life.
A couple of friends from the arts council have also reached out and said that it sucks I didn’t get in, which certainly helps. It’s amazing how getting knocked down really shakes your self esteem. Getting back up again with my confidence could take a little longer.
What do they say… what doesn’t kill us makes us stronger? I know getting knocked down is part of life, but it doesn’t make it any easier to get back up every time. But I also know that I get stronger every time…