Rather than talk about the bad things in my life right now like my job, I want to talk about what my year of change has done to my confidence.
Let’s start with my fitness. I started going to the gym twice a week just to get fit. Then later in the year I started doing daily yoga at home with an app. It’s done so much for my confidence. Feel so much better, not nearly as tired all the time and a lot happier with how I look. Made such a difference when I had to learn choreography for the show too.
Then there’s my singing lessons. I wanted to be involved with the local arts council and their amazing musical productions. Luckily I had met someone from the group and knew she taught lessons. Remembering back to that first lesson, I was so embarrassed to be trying to sing when I’d really never done it for anyone before. She was so supportive and told me singing was worth a try.
My confidence in my singing grew gradually over the first couple months, but it took a while. But once I started singing songs I really enjoyed on my own, I found out how enjoyable and therapeutic it is. When the auditions for the last show came up, my self doubt crept in. There was a lesson before that and my teacher was so wonderful. She helped me pick out a song to perform and assured me the audition panel would be very supportive.
Next thing I knew, I was part of the cast. Because it was a small role, my rehearsal schedule was light to begin with. When we started working on the songs, I felt so far out of my comfort zone. Every lesson I had though, my teacher helped me with the songs.
And of course I had no previous experience with choreography, so that was really embarrassing to start with. But I kept practicing every day and hoped I would learn it well enough.
By the time we got to tech rehearsals at the theater, I felt so much more confident. Once I stepped onto stage, my nerves actually went away. As I said in a previous post, this ended up being one of the most amazing experiences of my life. After so many years of low self confidence, I performed on stage in front of hundreds of people not just once, but eight times!
Recently had an appointment with my psychologist and talked about how horrible my job is. She pointed out something I hadn’t thought of. Maybe I hate it so much because my confidence has grown and I now know that I deserve something better…
My singing teacher has an end of year concert for her students and that’s coming up in about a month. She asked how I felt about doing a solo song for an audience. Thanks to her, I’m totally fine with it and actually a bit excited. She is directing the next musical and auditions are in a few days. I’m going for one of the leads and have been practicing every day. Can’t wait to show them what I’ve got for it and didn’t even need any help with the song.
I had a lesson tonight for the first time in a while. Last night I thought back to my first lesson and my first audition. And now here I am, confident for both the singing concert and the upcoming audition. I realized that one person has made such a big difference in my life this year and that’s my teacher. She supported me through these new important parts of my life and gave me all this confidence. Amazing how much one person can have such an impact on your life…