What Now?

And just like that, the musical is over. Eight shows, two of them were sellouts along with being mostly sold for the rest. What now?

It was one of the best experiences of my life. So much fun and the show was absolutely amazing. The cast and crew were all great. Why does it have to end? It’s only been two days, but I miss it already. They call it post show blues…

My self confidence has improved so much from this. Feel like I’ve even made some life long friends. There was only one thing I was jealous of with everyone else. Pretty sure everyone had at least one night where loved ones were waiting outside the stage door after the show. My kids came to the show one day but couldn’t stick around afterwards. Sounds like they are really proud of me though!

I took time off from work during the show, have to go back tomorrow. Felt like I couldn’t go to a job I hate all day, then perform for hundreds of people at night. Actually had a job interview in between shows, but didn’t get it. Thought that might have been my way out of the current job. I feel sick about having to go back. Maybe I should take a course or start an online business, but I can’t make up my mind. Can I not decide what I want to do with my career because my passion has always been acting? So what now?

Probably shouldn’t complain after having such an amazing experience, but I’m getting really sick of getting knocked down and having to get back up again. Not getting that job really hurt. Hopefully it keeps making me stronger. Doesn’t feel like it right now though…

Now that the show is over, I have to deal with my job issues. I have no distraction from worrying about my daughter’s anxiety. Loneliness has already set in too. Again, what now? Auditions for the next show are coming up in a few weeks, rehearsals won’t really start until the new year though. But I have decided I’m going for one of the lead roles. Why not, right? I’ll also get back to the gym regularly and try to make the best of another Christmas in summer here. And spend lots of quality time with my kids. Hopefully I’ll even be able to catch up with friends from the cast and crew. Need to finish this year of change on a strong note…