No matter how far I think I’ve come this year, it was amazing how all my insecurities came creeping back in this past week. I was a spotlight operator for the local musical. Five days, six shows, and a lot of social settings…
It was so exciting to get involved in something I’m passionate about. I’ve always loved acting and have been so keen to get back into it after many years away from it. Over those years, my self confidence was nowhere near what it once was. But here I am, making changes in my life this year and ready for more.
I knew the social aspect would be difficult as the cast had all formed bonds over the last few months of rehearsals. There were a few people I knew, but not really friends with any of them. That’s where my insecurities came rushing back…
Never done spotlighting before, but I picked it up quickly and loved every minute of it. So great to see how it all comes together with the lighting and production. And the cast is so talented for a group of amateurs, some could even be superstars. I was lucky to see the whole show so many times.
After nearly every show, there was some kind of get-together. There was a few that came up to me and had some chats, but I felt so nervous and scared to approach these people. I introduced myself to a few of them and complimented their performances, but it seemed awkward.
Hopefully I can be part of the cast for the next show and form some real bonds. Maybe those insecurities will be there for a while longer. And maybe that’s okay. I think it was a really big step in my year of change. Onwards and upwards…