As much as I’ve changed my life this year so far, when things go wrong, it can be tough to push through it. Why can’t it just be easy?
It started last week when I had to run a staff meeting about mental health and wellbeing. I decided to share some of my troubles over the last few years, which was difficult. After finishing that later than planned in the evening, I had to get to the gym. I was so drained by the time I got home!
The next day, my IBS symptoms weren’t great and I decided to leave work early. Plus my hockey team was playing game 6 in the playoffs… My stomach felt better, but my headaches were bad that day. Doesn’t help that I had to reschedule my chiropractor appointment to a date farther away than usual.
Then I had my kids for a couple nights and I just stressed out about looking after the new puppy. He’s a lot of work and I feel like I’m distracted from enjoying my time with the kids. When things go wrong, they seem to really pile up!
I had to drop the kids off earlier than usual too as the local musical rehearsals had moved to the theatre. My spotlight operator experience was starting! Felt pretty nervous about doing it and there was no clear plan, so it was tough. I remember hearing my heart beating fast during the whole run through of the show.
When we had breaks, I found myself reverting to my socially awkward self. Suddenly all the hard work I’d done for the last couple years was out the window and I felt so out of place…
So here I am writing this, knowing the show starts tomorrow night. As there was another full run through of the musical last night, I’ve had a total of 8 hours sleep over two nights. I’m so nervous about getting the spotlight right and fitting in with this tight knit group.
When things go wrong, it’s really easy to give up. In between my stomach churning and my headaches getting bad, I feel like I could fall apart at any time. But I’ve continued doing everything I normally do lately and keep hoping things get better again…