After all these years living in Australia, I feel like I’m stuck between two worlds. Here’s why…
First there’s Canada, the place where I was born and raised. I grew up in a small town where everyone knew each other and I made lifelong friends. My winters involved building snow forts, sledding, and playing street hockey. My summers consisted of riding my bike and playing street hockey. The sports I loved were hockey, baseball, basketball, and Canadian football.
Then there’s Australia, the country I’ve lived in for the past twenty years. Currently living in a smaller regional city (not as small as my hometown), but I have lived in the big city. I certainly don’t know that many people here, but I get along with everyone alright. Winter is okay here but summer is tough as the heat can really get to me. Due to the time difference between here and Canada, I’ve lost interest in most sports except for hockey. I have tried over the years to get excited about sports like Aussie Rules footy and cricket, but they just aren’t the same.
You’re probably wondering why I feel like I’m stuck between two worlds. And I have been curious why I haven’t made many close friends in this country. About a year ago, I was at dinner with five male work colleagues. All great guys and I really enjoy their company. But I found myself quiet for most of dinner while they all chatted non-stop. Then came the realization that they talked about things they grew up with like Australian sports and I really had nothing to contribute. I felt guilty for not knowing more about things in this country. But maybe that’s why I’ve struggled to make male friends here.
Whenever I go back to Canada, they say I sound Australian. When I’m here, everyone knows my accent isn’t local. My kids aren’t interested in sports and I feel like that’s partly my fault as I don’t know how to play the popular ones here. Always thought I’d be watching my kids play hockey and other sports I could teach them. I have to remember to spell and pronounce words differently than I learnt in school, so people understand me and my kids learn properly.
So many of my favorite foods and restaurants don’t exist in Australia. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve discovered some new favorites. But nothing that gets me as excited as those ones I grew up with. Christmas here is really tough. Not many people put up Christmas lights as it’s summer and doesn’t get dark until after 9pm, so they don’t bother. And it’s usually really hot that day. Probably doesn’t help that it’s the time of the year for family and friends, and most of mine aren’t here. It’s just not as magical as it was back home….
I don’t mean to complain, it’s actually a wonderful place to live with a lot of amazing people. It’s just a struggle for me as I don’t feel like I fit into the culture. But now that I’m a visitor to Canada, I feel out of place there too sometimes. So that’s why I feel like I’m stuck between two worlds.