This is my first post in about six weeks. I created this blog anonymously as a way to cope with everything. But now I rarely feel the need to write a new post. I’ve come a long way.
My life certainly hasn’t gone to plan. I had a wonderful childhood in Canada. So much family and so many great friends. My university years were a lot of fun, then I met someone from Australia. Not sure I was ever in love with her, but we ended up being married for nearly twenty years. We moved to other side of the world to be near her family and here I am still.
I struggle to remember the good times with her, even though I know there were good times. We held off trying to have kids for many years because of my hesitation. That was because I was never sure of our relationship and didn’t want to be stuck here in Australia as a single parent.
After nearly leaving her once, I think I was guilted into staying and having kids. We had to go through IVF, which drained our savings but gave us the best two kids I could ever ask for. Those twins are my world and can’t imagine my life without them. When they were young, I had to make the difficult decision to leave my marriage.
Through the last five years with her, my confidence was whittled down to nothing. I had no friends and no family to rely on when I left her. There were many difficult years, but here I am on the other side of that. I’ve come a long way.
I used to miss my home country so much that it would only take about twelve months from my last trip to Canada for me to be desperate to go back again. Fast forward to now and it’s been nearly two years since my last visit. My life is so fulfilling that I don’t feel the need to get back this year.
This year, I’m spending more time than ever with my kids, which is amazing. My job isn’t great, but I can deal with it a lot easier than previously. That could be because I’m doing what I love in my spare time. I’m heavily involved in the local performing arts scene. Between rehearsals for upcoming productions, being part of a production team, and volunteering for the local arts council committee, it’s very busy outside of work. Not only that, I’ve made so many wonderful friends that all have similar interests to me.
No I haven’t met that special someone yet. But I feel like it’s only a matter of time. Everything is definitely not perfect and I still have major times of stress. There are a lot of things going on that I need to deal with. More than ever though, I have hope for a brighter future for me and my kids.
So I’m not sure if I will continue to create new posts on this blog or not. I have only ever told two people about this journal of mine. My fear and privacy has kept me from telling anyone else. My life has not been easy and I really want to inspire others to push through the hard times like I have. But if no one is really reading this, then there probably isn’t much point in continuing. Because I’ve come a long way, it’s possible this will be my last post. Only time will tell…