I recently tried a free guided meditation about getting rid of limiting beliefs. It made me realize there’s one consistent thing that holds me back in all aspects of my life. The thought that I’m not good enough.
My marriage ended nearly six years ago and I haven’t had one single date. Loneliness is so difficult, but I know I’ve had to go through that to learn to love myself. The last couple years though, my social life actually exists again and I have more confidence. Yet no one seems to be interested in me. I constantly question what’s wrong with me.
Parenting is a tough gig sometimes and when you’re separated, it’s even more difficult. I often question my parenting skills, that could have a lot to do with home life before my divorce. If I was a better father, would my daughter not have such bad anxiety issues? Then that thought pops up all the time. I’m not good enough.
My dream has always been to be an actor. Now that I’ve been working on my singing the last couple years, I love that nearly as much. After getting cast in a local musical a couple years ago and thinking I found my place, that came crashing down when I auditioned and didn’t get into the next two shows. My voice has improved and I got back to the stage in the last show. But then when they didn’t have enough mics for everyone and I was left out, those bad thoughts came back. I’m about to audition for the next one, but again I’m questioning whether I’m good enough.
Doing this meditation definitely made me realize the theme throughout my life, in terms of limiting beliefs. Even at my job these days, I wonder the same thing. Maybe I’m not good enough. But I’ve come a long way and fought hard to get to where I am now. I am good enough to deserve love, just haven’t found it yet. My kids are amazing people and we have a great relationship. I was cast in a show again and so many people involved had amazing things to say about my performance and work ethic. Why do so many of us believe we’re not good enough? Time to push away this limiting belief and be who I’m meant to be.