In my last post, I talked about facing our fears. And it got me thinking about self confidence. It’s amazing how easy it is to lose and how hard it is to get it back…
When I was young, my self confidence ranged from high to low to high throughout school. By the time I hit university, it was definitely at the high end. I wasn’t afraid to be myself. Really enjoyed meeting people and having a great time.
But for the last ten years or so, that confidence was slowly chipped away. There were so many reasons. Living halfway across the world from my home country. Struggling to make friends here. Feeling like an idiot because there was so much I didn’t know about Australia. And that feeling coming from my marriage. So uncomfortable being a parent, never sure I was doing the right thing by them.
Then suddenly I was single and living alone. No friends, no family besides my kids. My life consisted of work, spending time with kids, or being at home by myself. I had nothing to do in my spare time. I didn’t know if I could be loved for who I was. Maybe things could have changed a lot quicker if it wasn’t for Covid. Pretty sure there are a lot of us out there who struggled the last couple years because of the isolation.
Now that I’ve finally made a trip back to Canada after three years away and things are settling a little with Covid restrictions, my self confidence is coming back strong. I’m going to the gym for the first time in over 20 years, I’m taking singing lessons, and I’ve volunteered to help out with the local musical. My financial situation is so much better and I’m going to take some chances with my career. Who knows, maybe even start a new one! I’m keeping in contact more with my family and friends in Canada and being more social here too.
Went for lunch with a friend last week and I felt like a different person than she’s ever known. I feel more like myself than I ever have in my life. There’s finally hope that I will find someone that will love me for who I am. And maybe it’s never too late to give up on your dreams. There are still bad things happening in my life, but they aren’t getting me down like they used to. Dealing with them and moving on!
Toughest years of my life are behind me and I’m stronger for it. From now on, I dance like no one’s watching. Just going to be myself.